SGA LETTUCE DAY
Of the many time-honored traditions observed by the GWCS students and staff, none is more beloved than Lettuce Day. We honor lettuce
What can you say about lettuce that has not already been said? It’s green. It’s leafy. It’s about the size of a human head. It’s devoid of nutritional value and is comprised almost entirely of water. It is a boring, boring, boring vegetable. Until now! Welcome to lettuce day 2016. In the crunch heard ‘round the world, Lettuce Day became a thing on October 17, 2016. How did that happen, you might be afraid to ask? That’s easy. Nine GWCS students sat at a long table with nine heads of lettuce on plates sitting in front of them. As Josh counted down to the blast-off, the tension was palpable! Nine people sitting in nine chairs, eating nine heads of lettuce as fast as they possibly could. Just to make it more sporty, Ben tried to eat his without using his hands. Jack seemed to get out to an early lead, but front runners often fade in competitions of endurance. Among the spectators, many thought that Zach might go for the gold. Suddenly, almost as it began, lettuce day, except for thirty minutes of picking up thrown, dropped and regurgitated lettuce, was over. With two fists pumped victoriously into the fecund air, a champion arose. Good for you Delia. Good for you Lettuce Lord. All comers had been humbled. Delia reigns supreme. Pass the ranch dressing please. Mmmmm.